European Athletics

He wakes up- shrugs the menacing whale away- walks to the kitchen which is full of bleached, cold light- late afternoon- yawn- covered in black and grey duvet- dragged on floor- fridge light- no milk- not black coffee- he'll puke- he aches- more bed- he can't walk to the little food den, no money- too cold- he decides not to walk at all- television- low volume- a leotarded Russian foal curves slowmotionish um over high jumping bar- um, dick won't thaw- icicled scrot- she fails, the foal, the bar wobbles- the shower will be hotter- I hope it snows- he thinks- the roads will close- bed- bed- bed- he finds some bread- into the toaster- he stares at heat- his eyes hurt- cancel, cancel, cancel- toast sucks- black furry toast jumps out- drug fag!- horror outside- outside vet's in car park- men like dogs- paranoid- a question- kiss a puddle- she saves- nothing works- poor Russian girl skinning a rabbit on a frozen lake- she removes ballet slippers- smokes- slips out of tights- I'm tired- tongue out, snowflake, he thinks- cough-cough-cough- her thundering lungs as she phelgms from a tenement into a heap of dead birds- she features in a catalogue for pale, diseased Russian princes- aches- floppy cock- Mister mute unbulged- slug slump- sickly, Prozacked grey hermaphrodite- shhh, toast cold- and the lovely swimming pool girl from ages and ever ago who snogged him in the autumn- sniff- chlorinated hair- tarry Xmas light in car park- three chimes- hour- sad anorexic ballet girl in secondhand fleece- bruised thigh- breasts shushed by jumper- sulking in bed in the blue starry pyjamas waiting for the film to end- it's too long- bad broken bed- no sleep- and that fascist weird Connecticut Aryan girl- he thinks about her pug mum- weekends wasted the whole spring- engorged overture- walrus woman- he shudders- indoor tennis- scrunching and tumbling over fake grass court- commercial lighting- chilly, daughterish hug at party- Madonna video- touching her makes him homesick- he yelps- volume horror- that song sucks with its big horny saxophone howls- sax sucks- sex sucks- he failed- sleep sucks- I miss the tenderness of hands- how they join- no drugs left- avoid- not tough- not male- return to bed- under covers led by hand past all the beasts of the forest- he sleeps- at last the light dies away- turn it over- turn off.

1. The Advisory Circle- Farmland, Freeland

2. Liliput- Die Matrosen

3. Madonna- Lucky Star

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