I got serious beef with the fact that half way through the Fresh Prince, Will Smiths aunt Vivian changes character to some lame shell suit wearing retard. Why can't they just go back to the good old days where Aunt Viv was a badass sister who didn't take no shit from no one? At least this foul change of actor is counter-balanced with James Avery's giganticism and Ashley's new found puberty induced sexuality but I digress..
I'm watching a bee bite a man's neck on golden-era X Files. A semi-circle of Aryan twins stand around a telephone pole. The man has a seizure. This is basically a direct invocation of the opening scene of Lynch's Blue Velvet- the most sinister and alluring opening of all time. Lynch's contribution to the theoretically-lost- but quickly lifted electronically- DangerMouse record has exactly the same quality... like slowly dying from tranquilisers as an old man and some angels stand at the end of your bed. It's unnerving and weirdly pleasant at the same time. X Files is dope, too. Particularly the titles- 'The Truth Is Out There' etc.- and Duchovny did his final thesis on Samuel Beckett- Duchovny rules, too.
Dangermouse And Sparklehorse - Dark Night Of The Soul
As my friends clamp, pink belly and corrupt my 12 year old brother whilst playing to the Clockwork Orange soundtrack I feel its necessary to introduce Stacey Q's Two Of Hearts to lighten the mood. You know the type of tune that first starts off as a camp novelty among friends, you drive through villages in a vauxhall corsa screaming it at passing upstanding citizens, mostly OAPs, you know.. similar to Like A Virgin or some German power pop, but at some point, after you start skipping NAS and J5 to get to the 80s gem, you realise it's quite possibly the best pop track ever created. Just trust me.
Stacey Q - Two Of Hearts
Now for all you fans of Austrian early 80s techno here's Vienna-born Falco with his 1981 hit "Der Kommissar". If there was ever a song to keep the Anchluss and the heart of polio-crippled Joseph Goebbels still contracting an icy beat, it's this. With all it's lyrics spoken in the tongue of the Father Land, Arnie would be proud. I'm not talking about the new governer Arnie, or the early body builder Predator Arnie, I'm talking about the Austrian God that starred in such family comedies as "Twins" and a personal favourite of mine "Kindergarten Cop". I can imagine him sat at home exclaiming, "I'm not a policeman, I'm a princess!!!" whilst listening to this song.
Falco - Der Kommissar
In the ideal world, one where red wine burst from fire hydrants and Bitches' Brew played in supermarkets and bears roamed untouched through plentiful coniferous trees munching honey, Hecker would be the most popular man of all time. All his 'white-capped white noise' would be blasting out of Tesco's. Imagine if Brian Eno had grown up in the '80s suffering from post-rave paranoia and urban hallucinations instead of sipping champagne and fiddling pianos in art school. The apocalypse, when it eventually comes, will sound exactly like Hecker.
Tim Hecker - Chimeras
Now it has gone too far, the brother is downstairs having left because his balls got stood on. It's about time for some gangsta. Geto Boys, hailing from Texas, will possibly teach my brother to man up. These four are possibly about as G as you can get (watch this space I'm sure much more hip-hop will be plugged in a particular white-boyesque manner) enjoy.
Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster
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"why can't they just go back to the good old days where Aunt Viv was a badass sister who didn't take no shit from no one"
ReplyDeleteoriginal aunt viv left the show because she got pregnant in violation of her contract, and also the actress was kind of cantankerous concerning will; did not appreciate the upstart rapper getting all the thespian glory and attention while she probably climbed the ranks as an actual actress, etc. yes the replacement was utterly toothless and bland, but think of it like aunt viv died / was written off and they just put a new woman in the show as a visual pacifier for the Great Unwashed.
"original aunt viv left the show because she got pregnant in violation of her contract"
ReplyDeleteTo me this just supports the view that she is a bad ass sista, stick it to the man, props to her.